Don't know how lovely you are
(I had to find you, tell you I need you)
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
I'll take you back to the start
I can't quite figure out if it's because it's St. Valentine's Day today, or because my conscience has finally caught up with me, or the various methods used to try & pull myself out of numbness actually, oddly, worked. Also, my deep & abiding [it would appear, although unintentional] need to hurt myself & people I know, or particularly care about seems to be resufacing with a vengence. And, despite being glad to see something I recognise - It makes me hate myself all over again & I wish I could at least explain this, at least not have a chance of hurting you. I'm slightly confused as to how it all got to this, so quickly fell into step with last time. Scary, how much things seemed to go backwards oh-so-slightly.Lots of little things. Boys, lots of glances passed between us all. And I was thinking about all those lost times. That meant so much to me & no one else, that I'm the only one who can remember them. That, & being so close to someone you can feel their eyelashes and their breathing & you feel like you mattered and that they keep hold of you because they need you too.
(I got a Valentine's. I never get Valentine's. Wheeeee! Thankyou, & many many Loves *kisses* Hehe.)
Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: