Sunday, Apr. 25, 2004 : Scribble
Just feeling exhausted. Pretending I'm shut off anyway in a tiny enclosed space. I knew I shouldn't have done anything. No matter how hard I try, and I do, just because I don't want to see you upset, it doesn't matter & it hurts, just a little bit. Only a little bit because I know that it's silly, that I shouldn't expect anymore. Disappointed again, like always. Because I can't keep this up, because I can't keep sitting here trying to help and having you tell me time and time again that no one is there for you, that no one wants to know. When thats just what I wanted. I'm not going to pretend that I'm a saint, that I'm selfless and that I always give. I'm not like that, I'm beginning to run out of patience. I want to help but you won't let me, because I'm not her. I don't want to be her, not to get closer to you, not because you love her. I don't need you like that. I'd just like to be acknowledged, slightly. Maybe I don't deserve that yet.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: