OneWe're better friends than ever; if only because we can't be together the way we want. What's stopping us? Doing things properly, being fair, lack of feeling. Lack of feeling. Not this end though.

And if we could? It wouldn't happen......would it? It, in all it's perversity, thrives on existing even though it shouldn't. I'd just get hurt again. A few months ago, maybe this would have been what I'd wanted. Not now, not at all. I just want. TwoThere isn't anything I can say. I haven't treated anyone fairly. Fairly, properly or decently. I haven't particularly been treated like that either. I don't care anymore. I can't make any excuses, I know it happened, but what can I do now? Pretend it's all gone back to normal? Pretend that I can treat you the same again? Pretend that what I want isn't to be free of all of this? Pretend. I wish I could. Tell me what I've done, exactly how I hurt you all so badly, and then I can half-heartedly attempt to justify it. I know that this isn't a justification; I'm just selfish. All I want is to be happy. I want the people I love to be happy. Most of the time. Other times, I don't want to have to talk to any of you. Sometimes I don't want you to be happy, but I've never,never wanted you to be unhappy. If I've done that,made you unhappy, I'm sorry. I can't justify it - it happens & mainly because I can't seem to pay any attention to things that happen.ThreeWhat is it you are attempting to do in telling me all of this? Say sorry, make up for everything I've done, change, not do it anymore? How?

I'm sorry for what I've done. If you don't think I am, then you barely know me at all.

I'm not going to explain any more. I've run out of feeling it now. It's gone, that part of everything.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: