I can't fucking stand this.No one gives a fuck whether you're ok, only how much you can help them. Is it wrong not to want that? Is it wrong to get annoyed with it? No one understands why it's so fucking annoying. I don't think I do it. Maybe I used to...but I'm not the same person I used to be.

I should get some sleep. Ostensibly because I look a wreck because I'm always so tired. But there's still this little part of me that thinks it's for Loki. We started talking again.

Yesterday we had a conversation, an argument. It was awful. I was happy because he needed me again. Admittedly, only to make him feel better about himself. But he did, and I liked it. We talked about stuff as well. Talked about before. And I managed to remain pretty even. I was doing really well. I still hate him. I shouldn't. Well, maybe I should, but not for the reasons I do. I'm just bitter. But I still cry because of it. At least now, he knows he upset me. He knows, but he doesn't know how. I'm not sure if I even do. I just, I just can't put it into words. I talked to him again, just now.

Yesterday, it kinda got my hopes up, that things would be different. (Normal, once..) They weren't. He called me beautiful, but it means sod all coming from him now.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

last * next