The first time I remember Jen is as Cinderella, in the peach silk dress that we all wanted to wear. I remember going round her house, and being so incredibly jealous of all her beautiful things. When you dressed up as an ice skater, and I went as the blonde Abba girl, but we didn�t actually know who they were.

I remember running to the end of school lane, to get in your car and jumping off the concrete bank. I remember when we went Brownies together, and how we ended up round each others houses almost every day of the week.

I remember you�d humour me, putting on plays in front of class three, �Sammy the Stamp Bug� and the pop up theatre that I showed off to everyone, but you were the only one allowed to touch it. Playing Beauty and the Beast behind the Annexe, using our lunchboxes and flinging them against the wall, sandwiches all over the playground.

I remember when we used to collect the acorns on the front playground and played the staying-on-the-wobbly-log game. When we used to look at the map in the �bathroom corridor� and plan all the places we�d go to when we grew up. When we collected all the blossom, from the �blossom trees�, into big useless piles, to jump around in. And when we sat outside the air-raid shelter, thinking that there was a man buried inside it, tugging on the piece of string and talking to him, imagining that he could hear us.

When we were the Egyptian Cats always arguing with they boys about Friends and Red Dwarf, and kicking them under the tables. Never doing any work and looking after out brattish �reading partners�.
When we used to stay at school making those little badges out of beads, or all the hours spent on the field making daisy chains, or catching grasshoppers.
Stealing the ropes and hoops from all the little kids to make our �palace�. Tying them to the trees, and religiously avoiding the spot �where Rachel kissed Craig�.

At lunchtimes, making Chocosmush and eating of the many sausages. Every year having Mr Calder trying to force us into the Choir, instead watering his plants and delivering the registers. Playing �off ground touch� on �The Stones� or pretending to be French detectives, even though neither of us could speak French. Sitting on that toxic gas heater when it was freezing cold outside, playing Bulldog in Pe and being really, really good nuns. Sitting at your house, making up dictionaries and finding the �Squiffy Jar Meat� or the countless hours on Theme Hospital, our game of choice. Oh wait, and Hercules too. You remember your sleepover? You were Melisaaaaa, I forget my name, and we videoed it and everything. We really were freaks. Edinburgh? And the courtcase of Spike and Mr Apple. Damn, I need a transcript of that. And Mr. Apple�s ensuing execution and Spike�s operation. Also, �Hayfresh�. Yup.

You remember when you took me to Camden that first time, and those Swiss guys attacked us��Electric Ballroom?�. And when we went for a walk with Luke and ended up singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the traffic island outside the Sandmartin.

When we used to do marathons, like Black Books, or Invader Zim or watch your new favourite film, which was always brilliant � with pizza and much chocolate. Or most recently, drinking wine and talking unto the teeny tiny hours.

I don�t suppose I can really say completely why you mean so much to me. We�ve grown up together, we always stuck around with each other, you�ve been strong for me my whole life. And all that time, I�ve followed you because it�s always been you that I adored, like no one else. And it really didn�t take us long - did it? - to see that we�re soul sisters! We picked each other out, and I�m so incredibly grateful and amazed, I guess, that you�ve stuck with me all this time. You�ve always been the one who�s strong for me. I�m sorry that I�ve kind of stuck that on you, but you know I couldn�t have gotten through any of my silly little traumas without you, without being able to escape to your house and you which was like this whole other world, watching brilliant films and having you there. I couldn�t ever thank you enough for what you�ve done for me. Because over the years I�ve stolen parts of your personality, I�m sorry, but I did, and literally I wouldn�t be me if you weren�t you. I don�t know if I�m half as strong for you as you are for me, I can only hope. And I love you, so, so much. So much, but not because, you are a part of me, because we�ve been intertwined (interwindled) since we were five years old. Because I�m always, always here for you, and whatever you need is already yours, okay? I love you.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: