Deliciously different, curling around my tongue and happy, bubbling. I also want to cry and its reassuring, because you can feel your way when you know where you're going. Or something ridiculous. But it's cruel, razor sharp & stings, I didn't expect it, and Christmas? It's hard to believe, it's been arriving since September and it doesn't feel like it should be tomorrow, but, but, I have wrapped presents and freshly curled ribbons, spinning. I need to finish it, but how? GET OUT. Need to breathe and care, and love, and I feel like I am falling out of love, it makes me sick. But I'm not, because I love, Ido, more so and in some cases perhaps distantly, isn't that it? The model? Perhaps. I want to stretch out (become thinner) and curl like a cat, take beautiful pictures and record, make something of this luxury, stretched out time and thinking empty brain power, or it'll rot away. I hate that I cut and run when people decide they love me less. But still swimming in these lovely new things, strangely new & curious, to collect and sink in. Or is everything fraying? Um, hm. It's beautiful, and sad, and that is beautiful. But, there are so many other things I am daydreaming, dazily, dozing happy, now. It is late & so many things rushing to one point. I enjoy work & people are gorgeous. But it stops my brain, I lost that. I think you did. I wish I could tell people just how much I love them.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

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