Eleven minutes past.

I should sleep.

I feel rather guilty tonight, because things aren't so good for other people. I want to be able to help but I feel helpless. I feel like I'm floating away from everything, so that eventually things like this won't matter anymore, even though I want them to because they mean so much to people that I love. In situations like this, you can't help but feel useless.

I feel so detatched from everything right now, as if I'm seeing everything through mottled glass.

I was walking to school this morning, legs dead from the cold, and fingers feeling a little numb. Just remembering. Thinking about how nice it was to have someone to hold onto, to keep me warm, to care about me. I wasn't sad - as I thought I would be - I just missed it, I didn't even particularly want him back. Which makes me happy.

Now I'm back to just craving - craving having someone to say 'you're perfect' to me again, to wrap me up in themselves, to plant little kisses all over my face. Oh well, we can dream. It's what I love to do best.

But then I feel guilty and incredibly selfish, because I'm not allowed to feel happy if other people aren't.

I'm sorry I can't seem to talk to you properly, that I never seem to have anything meaningful to say, anything worthwhile. You mean a lot to me, and I could never hope to put that into words, in fact you mean so much I can't describe it, but I'll always love you and always hope that one day I can express things like you.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: