Tuesday, Dec. 02, 2003 : Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Err
Today was good, it reminded me of the time when I felt like I didn't need you because I felt like that again today. I wish it was true. I really do, just because I don't think it's worth it, like I said.

I don't think it's worth it.

Please, please tell me I'm wrong.

You didn't, did you?

You ran away, like you always do. And I can't cope with that, not anymore. I'm not going to. At the moment I'm happy without you, notice: at the moment.

In fact it's probably better that you ignore me, it's probably better that we aren't friends now, just because otherwise itll happen all over again.

I figured it out, why we don't stay friends.

Just because, I can't just be friends with you. It can't stop there for me, and I know that might not be what is right, or what you want - despite what you tell me. But I can't be friends with you. It sounds stupid, saying essentially that it's all or nothing, but it's true. It's sad, but it is. And you know that perfectly well, we both do. We know that you have all the power here and that you can abuse it as much as you choose. I can't wait anymore, I don't want to have to. I can't stand being attached to you, in any way, because it's not how I want, and it never will be, because I'm not good enough for you, you made that clear enough. I'm aware this sounds like one big giant cliche, and I hate that. I should stop. I still have to say it, just because this almost feels like I'm writing to say goodbye. I wish I was, and that it was over. You've exhausted me, and I haven't got anything left.

I say that, but I know that if you choose to talk to me, if you choose to be nice to me again, I'll start falling all over again. I need to escape. But only from you. Even though, I have everything here. And I want to keep it.

I'm sorry for everything I've done while I've been like this. And thankyou for not letting go and giving up on me. I'll do it for you too.

Okay, cliche over.

Bye.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: