Thursday, Apr. 15, 2004 : Bournville, Birmingham
It's almost like everything goes hazy and you're wandering around in a cloud where things are drenched in sunlight. It's the beginning, and you can't help feeling so happy that you have to force it on everyone, because you feel like you're worth something and maybe someone would miss you if you weren't there, the possibility you might have someone to hold onto and fall asleep on, someone you could have ice cream fights with - doesn't that sound like fun...we should have more ice cream fights - and just hold onto, because it's someone warm and alive, and they want you there.

And it's almost as if I can't have any of that without the other side of it, where you begin to see things as black and white again, where you pick everything apart to find the meaning - but you can't find it because you are losing any kind of perspective you had, where you begin to put everything that makes you happy into this person and at the same time forcing them into something they don't want to do. Also thinking about it like this so much. I think that's a little scary.

Eeek....I'm getting so sentimental in my old age!

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: