I'm happy this is falling overboard & that there are other things, to crash off and bounce between. This is gonna be good.
I'm here, and this is all sorted, apart from the admin which is tearing my brain apart - and there being no bathroom in my corridor. I'm so happy that I'm near Jo'fo. S'gonna be good :D
Too many fucking lies, and a little (a lot too much to drink) but a return to normality, or a welcome return to insanity, I like. Or not, but it makes things a it more familiar and easy to handle. What happens now? Last night was strange, abrupt, sort of being ripped away. Empties everything of meaning. Everything is empty of meaning, thats what it seems./ A good place to start from. Incoherence. It feels a bit like sacrilige to talk about anything expect you in the paper diary, something that I really should get past. Definitely now. "Definitely MAYBE" a lot to do, a lot to figure out. A lot to remember and a little to forget. I think I already wrote the eulogy, shall I call it that? The death. This is the beginning of something else. And I'll keep you if I want you. It seems heartless & cold, but it's only the truth. But then, I think it only applies to you - it is back, without you, I forget you. A reminder, a text, a message and it floods back, literally floods and the sharpest ache in my stomach, my whole body. But with others, it is there all the time, but not as harsh or biting, but constant. What does it mean, and, AND, which means more? I don't know. It's a little comforting though, to have something back that makes sense, to me at least, but it's going to be so hard. Yeeeah. Skinnybaby, wait for it. it'll smoke & stream or something. Where am I supposed to be? Nowhere. It's a lull between storms. I like this.



Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

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