You know on telly, when you see those women who get beaten up, and they can't ever leave their husbands (ok sometimes they have a reason, but mostly they don't) no matter what they do? Well, it occured to me that I'll be one of them.
Hey, maybe I'm being psychic, or maybe I'm just mentally deranged. I still bet it'll happen.
I read today something someone had written. About how when you lose 'that person, you just break' I was amazed, mostly because it's so true and I'd never been able to say it. Well I thought what if.... what if I did have them? And I know they'd never love me as much as I love them, no one ever does. So they could do anything they wanted and I'd stay with them, if only because it maintained my childish and naive ideal, that I seem to persue relentlessly.They could hit me and beat me or whatever, I don't think it'd matter to me. It's kinda surreal I'm talking about this. Maybe....maybe it's happened before, in a past life or somesuch. Hmm that would be interesting.
I really don't think I'm very strong, I wouldn't be able to cope, I barely did before, when I lost 'that person'.
Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: