Of course I do, I can't not. Even if I wanted to forget them I couldn't, because they are so much a part of me - and stupidly so, because I know how little it all meant to you, and how much you want to forget (I knew I wasn't really good enough, and I couldn't hope to be, not enough of an asset)- a part of me because it was something I had never known before, and it changed the person I am (you be the judge of whether for better or worse). And that's something that can't come back, that I lost all my naivety even, maybe I found out how to feel in extremes, I'd never needed to before - possibly love and possibly hate. I don't know which one more so.
I've written enough in here, way back, about all of this. After all, it's all been written whilst it was happening. I just wanted to say this to you - even though you won't see it, I know - because you didn't give me the chance already. It's goodbye really, so I just wanted to tell you how much you did mean to me because I wasn't ever really allowed to say, and because I had to, to stop all of this, for me, to stop me regretting things that happened & things that didn't. And so that I can appreciate the good things. //It finishes here.
Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: