2003-09-30 : Aesthetics
I love her so much. I really don't want her to feel like this & yet theres nothing I can do.

One of the only people that are 'like me'. I don't know how, but she is, they are. I assume they are; I don't know. Sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve to say that about them. Farrell & I established today that they are few & far between.

I don't like the way & looks in this font, but I do like using it ever-so-much.

I feel like I don't deserve to say it because I think so much of her, & them. Those others. But I still can't seem to affect anyone. It's arrogant, but I think thats something I want - to affect people. I hate myself because of that. They, she, he all seem still so unattainable.

I like alliteration at the moment.

I'd to be able to write like her too, its so lyrical & well - damnit - beautiful!

It's like that description of Christina Rossetti. Maybe you have the technicalities - but it needs something else to make it beautiful. And thats what matters to me - now, at least - if it's beautiful. I can't say aesthetically pleasing because it's not just aesthetics that I mean.

Aesthetics is a great word. I have probably spelt it wrong



Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: