I know I'm supposed to be nice & helpful & understanding all the time, everytime you feel like something has gone wrong, just like you are. But I'm finding it too hard. Not because maybe I don't know what it feels like, not because I don't care about you, and I want you to suffer. Mainly because I feel like I'm not really here. I've been removed from reality.

Because when I wander round at school, I feel like I don't belong anywhere, I want to hold onto Vita, because I know her and I can see her. I want to hold onto Lilly because she knows me and I love her. Because I don't understand hardly anything else anymore, I can't work properly, I can't sleep even, but I'm happy. I'm happy like this, almost in Limbo. I'm happy not being in any defined group, and floating. I'm happy because I feel like I don't need any defined group, like I did before. That I can stay like this for the rest of the year.

I know it sounds like I'm saying I don't need you any more, and that isn't true. I've grown up with you, and so you've made this enormous difference to me. I want you to know that, and that despite what I've just said ^, I'll always need you.

I can't be the best friend I could be, not at the moment. Which is wrong, but I'm so happy, I'm selfishly happy. I want you to be happy too, but I can't see how to help at the moment, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry because it's this hard for me to try and help, but I honestly don't know how anymore. I don't know what it is you need now, we've grown apart too much. Things have changed haven't they?

And to prove how selfishly happy I am;

I really, really, really hope that Doane is right. ((Thankyou))

And I hope things get better for you.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

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