I'd try and explain it, but I can't. I don't know why this happens, why it all means so much to me. I don't understand anything thats happening anymore, I won't try to. Half of me feels as if I shouldn't argue, carry on, it'll get better, it'll be good, in the end. And the other half just asks, why? And how, how do I know it will get better? Maybe this is only making it worse.

I want to mean something. That's selfish isn't it? It is, but then, that's all my diary is. Just to let you know, I care.

I want everyone to be happy - and by that I mean be what they want, get what they want, whatever. It sounds unbelievably false and contrived, it's true though.

And I, ((returning to me again, quick, hit me)) I just want to find a way to tell myself it's hopeless.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

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