This is all falling apart and I don't know quite what to do. It doesn't feel like anythings real anymore. There isn't anything left, nothing left to hold onto, quite and every little thing seems like a betrayal. Pathetic, isn't it? Don't worry, I'm disappointed in me too.

Sometimes I fucking hate you for abandoning me like that. And I hate me for helping, but mostly I hate you for not letting me back in when I tried, when you said you wanted it back just like I did, but you just pushed me away again. Because I want you now, I want you to understand & I want you. To be there to hold me, to be there to hold you, look after us and hold my hand, like you always said you would.

I don't know, can't remember,. don't know, can't remember, was it my fault? Or was it just time & circumstance, or did you just give up? Give up on me, it sounds appealing doesn't it, easy, it is.

It's all so hollow and brittle right now, caving in inside of me whilst this is all falling apart in front. It's why no one ever saw those fraying edges. Maybe they just don't care.

Still, there are things to make you smile. Damn these moods of mine! These people that don't know me, even they care and it confuses me even more, because people are beautiful. Maybe it's being with me messes things up, oddly sounds about right. Afraid of?
These little things, I suppose I'm giving up without realising it. No. But people, I hate them, but I love them more.

I don't think I can reconcile my conscience with my feelings. My conscience hates me for my feelings.

"Are you my conscience?" "Yes, I'm your conscience, we haven't spoken in a while. How have you been?" "Uh, can't complain." "Good, now do you see anything?" "Yes...I see a light"
"Hey conscience, am I dead?"


Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

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