Thursday, Feb. 03, 2005 : Luke
I remember when you asked me out, and I was hiding under the table. I remember *really* stupid things we used to do at Guys and Dolls; the clip and the curtain thing, trying to convince people that their shoes were possessed and all the things you used to call me (�Werid�, anyone?). And the six days, eek! We were weird then, weren�t we? How Mr. Shupo, Scott and Tommy managed to embarrass us so much and how we never went near each other. And other things, like how we became best friends, which I honestly don�t quite remember. All our little walks, and how we both really, really hated Jon for a time, when we used to talk about absolutely anything. I remember you trusted me with your biggest secret, and I never told anyone. I�ll tell you now, I trusted you the same. I think it was that which made us so close and although you never told me who, I suspected. I think I was right. I remember lying on the floor of the Tate with you, and running around in the Somerset House fountains with you. Shopping in Oxford Street and Harrods, choosing all the furniture for �our house� and your insane shopping music. And I remember how gracious you were when we abandoned you so I could get trodden all over by Jon, and I remember the next day when you came round to see me, you picked me up when no one else in the world knew how bad things were, or they could be. And when I was upset, I phoned you up and you told me I was the ray of sunshine in your life, because you were drunk in a field, looking for some house keys. There were our cinema dates-but-not-dates, and our ice-cream-breakfast dates, where we ended up in museums. And discovered precisely why, according to you, they don�t let women in the army. I remember when we watched the ballet in Trafalgar Square, just before everything almost fell apart, and you had to drag me away. We always said, I think, that we would stay on the train one day and fly somewhere, but they had to speak French in Somewhere. I remember talking on our bench, when you had a girlfriend that you didn�t want, and then how the tramp-guy stole our bench. I remember when I spent everyday for a week round your house, and your mum said it couldn�t be a good thing. I remember it was you who - or actually, your mum - who found me �my� perfume. I remember when you found out, and you held onto me so tight, and you made me promise to stop. You tried to understand, but you couldn�t. You held on so, so tight and made me promise not to anymore. We were on web-cam and it turned into something else. I remember thinking how funny it was, that it had all turned out like this. You were so sweet then, to me. When I had to leave, with my face pressed into your stomach, I don�t know why, but I still remember. How you walked me home and kissed me, and something seemed lighter right then on the walk home. But I don�t remember what happened, someone told and I couldn�t do it. I think you grabbed hold of me when I had some chips, after our Lit. exam, after Libby had held me on the floor, after you called me pathetic. We became Dave and Angela for a little bit again. I think I showed you, and I think I had tears pouring down my face. But you walked all over Grays looking for me, and I remember I still didn�t know what to do, so you walked away eventually. After you sat on my bed and held me, tried to keep hold of me. I didn�t work, though. And I cried for you but it didn�t matter, because we lost it. I think we were the same and that we have to have people love us, I never got over the feeling that you sold out though. And I�m sorry & I love you, but okay. Because it was fun, right? I do miss you but we�re different people now, aren�t we? And I haven�t �grown up�, not yet.


�You wanna see my screw?�
�Oooh, yes please�
�You wanna see the nut too?�
�Okay!�

�Hey, I can put my foot behind my head�
�Hey, so can I!�
�Wow!�
�Haha�
�Hey, foot wave!�


Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: