It's hard to sustain, when it blurs a little..far too soon when I'm concerned. I sat wobbled on the windowsill and my thoughts wobbling a little. Give in? I gave in a little today. I rested my head on her shoulder and I took a little piece of chocolate, but I held myself up to stop it all caving in, because I just can't let it all cave in, though it's easy to be selfish. I do it without thinking. So I have to think; or stop. So that is good. And that was good, but overall today was pretty bleh. So after that one good thing, comes another to make resolutions from;
don't. hold on.
go. get strong.
I need to cut free from this strangling tie, keeping me tied to the weaknesses I'm trying to escape. It's not real, and it's using me up, and it's keeping me from something that will actually give a purpose again, or it's keeping me from finding one that's already there. So, we have to stop this. 'I'm the one you're using/please, just push me aside'.

It's a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It's a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right.

What is it? Looking, looking and trying to be honest. It's a little scary.

The worst part is, am I more frothy and superficial now? I can't seem to avoid it, though it's what I hate. 'proud can I never be of what I hate, but thankful even for hate that is meant love' it can't be can it? I can't figure out if I wish it were. just please, don't let me corrupt myself even more, don't, even though you might mean well, it's hurting.

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

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