I don't know why I got so happy, expecially when I should have realised that it was coming. This always happens, and always I get so upset about it, like I didn't deserve it. It's just that I know I do.

I'm selfish because I want someone to adore me, just like that, I want someone to actually care about all the silly little things that I do, as well as all the shit and all the stupid things I do (many). And I want someone to hold onto and keep me safe. Maybe because I haven't ever had anything secure like that, everything seems so volatile, but in a strangely sedate and sensible, boring way. I say I want it to be exciting too, for things to actually happen, but mostly I want to mean something.

I'm just selfish because I don't realise how lucky I am to have everyone I do. I can't help feeling like I could let go and nothing would happen anyway.

Someone who'll care enough to notice, but it's my own fault, I know that, I really do.

So I told some stuff today, and I'm glad I did, I'm glad you know, if only because it means you might not make fun of me for it so much. I don't know if it makes any difference how you see me though. That's what worries me.

And we wouldn't have to speak, or even listen. Just be there, and be safe.

I don't make any sense now. Too many times today,

Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending:

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