Are you not supposed to act differently around different people? Is that not allowed? If it isn't, how do you make sure you act the same? If it is - how do you know which one is the real you? What if there isn't 'one' who is, what if they're all you? Who makes up the rules anyway? And who says they have to be stuck to? So, what to do?
How am I supposed to be me around you when I don't have a clue what I'm doing? And should I change for you? It's not just you I'm losing is it? But it's not just me, I'm not the only one who isn't what they were. And that means I'm not going to be able to be with people so much. I know it, but I don't know what, if anything, I can do. But there are people who I'm only just getting closer to - and there is no way I am going to lose them now that I've found them.
What I'm petrified of is that I'm changing, and I don't realise it. Pushing everyone away although I don't know I'm doing it. That something about me is suddenly terrible. Or maybe you all just found out, and it always was.
I shouldn't force this on you, should I?
So, Thankyou for today, I wouldn't have gotten through it without you! Thankyou, I couldn't get through anything without you. Ich Liebe Dich!
Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: