Today I was so mixed up I had no clue what I was pretending to be. It's like, when I'm at school, I choose which mood I am in on the way to school - before I get to Toyboy-Bustop Corner - & then act like this for rest of day. Usually these are pretty unintelligible from each other - but I try to make them as closely modelled on my own real mood (if I can tell what it is) as possible. Don't ask me why I do this.
I was talking to people; as I do, as I always do. And I thought it was strange. I wasn't really talking to any of them. It's weird, some of the people I want to talk to the most, I just can't seem to. Some of the people I think I am most alike - I suppose I can only guess...but you know - & that I really care about, that I don't have to even talk to but I love them anyway. Those people. I just wondered why.
I really don't know where I stand anymore. With anyone. Definitely not with Loki, ever since I told him that. & it would be infinitely preferable if I did know...well...what he thought, I suppose. Or with anyone. I'd just like to. Like to have that person again. That person...
Feeling:
Listening to:
Pretending: